Thu, 22nd Apr 2010 | MasterSignwriter | 3,183 Views, 7 Nods.

Terry Wogan in Racist Slur.

Terry Wogan's legion of fans are in turmoil today after some leaked memos that were discovered during the cleanout of his Radio 2 offices pointed to the real reason he was asked to leave, and broadcast his last Janet and John episode that had the nation in hysterics for the last 20 years.

As his fans will fondly remember Janet and John was a daily script sent in by listeners involving an innuendo laden mockery of a favourite childrens story book from the 1970's. Usually involving the hapless John explaining to his wife at the end of the day what he had been up to, but due to misinterpretation his wife would miss understand it as something involving her husband, the next door neighbour and a marrow.

Headed 'The BBC and racial awareness' the following manuscripts were found in Mr Wogans filing cabinet next to a bottle of scotch and some wig tape.

Aasif and Aala go to the Park.

Today Aasif is meeting some friends down the park.
See Aasif playing with his friends.
They love playing with remote controlled airplanes and throwing water balloons at
each other.

Do you?.
Aasif does.

Aala drops Aasif at the park 'I have to get a new Burka fitted' says Aala, 'Will you promise to play nicely?'
'Oh yes' says Aasif.
'Remember God is great' says Aala.
'Praise be' says Aasif

See Aasif skip to the park.

Aasif meets his friends where they take the remote toys out of their case and start playing with it until a big gust of wind makes it hard to fly the plane. So they decide to have a water fight with balloons filled with pond water.

'In the name of Mohammed's trousers' says Aasif 'This water is disgusting we cant play this anymore'

See Aasif put the rest of the balloons in the case and go home miserable.

Aasif is sad.

When Aasif gets home Aala asks why he is so glum.
Aasif explains how he and his friend crashed their airplanes into some nearby buildings and had to put some dirty bombs in a case before heading home.
'Well done,' says Aala 'Death to the Infidels'.

In reponse to racist allegations the velvety voiced Bog Trotter said 'Ahh begorrah, I was only trying to pointout the dreadful way we as a nation find racial stereotypes
amusing rather than offensive, we never meant any harm bejaysus '

See Mr Wogan Run.


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Fri, 23rd Apr 2010
How the hell am I supposed to film this one? Hi Riveriakid, telling signwriter to keep them coming is great and trust me he has a suitcase full but to catch up on his past works, just click on his picture and then click his ebook!! It will create a fuly formated PDF of all his works but be careful, it's not for the fainthearted. Welcome to the site and pass on to friends. Follow the authors who interest you and enjoy the debates and creative content.
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Thu, 22nd Apr 2010
Lovin it! Keep them coming.
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Thu, 22nd Apr 2010
I've been listening to Wogan's Janet and John stories for a while now.They are aimed at John "Boggey" Marsh who is Wogan's radio colleague and his wife's name is Janet.I love what what you did here how do you get these ideas?
Nod+ (0)
Thu, 22nd Apr 2010
Got to be a daily show MS-book at bedtime would be good too!
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Thu, 22nd Apr 2010
JUst goes to show. The men are all children at heart, it's the women that are the trouble makers.
Nod+ (0)
Thu, 22nd Apr 2010
Brilliant. You should do a regular spot I miss Janet and John so Aasif and Aala could replace them
Nod+ (1)
Thu, 22nd Apr 2010
This could be one of your amazing bedtime stories.
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