Tue, 03rd Apr 2012 | MasterSignwriter | 1,585 Views, 4 Nods.

Attack of the Fifty Foot Tall Bastards! - This years summer blockbuster!!

Attack of the Fifty Foot Tall Bastards

A brief summery of the latest film work by the production team that brought you 9/11 the Musical and Brothers without Arms.

The film begins with the discovery of a DNA data bank underneath the Pentagon by Al qaeda terrorists as they attempt to Assassinate the president.
Realising the potential of their find they take off with the DNA samples of various dead people from history, leaving the President unharmed.

Later in an cave in Jizzarmabland the Terrorist group is split as some claim what they have done goes against their beliefs, a struggle ensues leaving the offended members running off into the hills not before snatching a handful of the DNA samples.

The film takes us 30 years into the future, where it turns out Al Qaeda have harvested the samples and cloned humans from them, the only problem being that due to them being infected with grade A uranium the clones have grown to enormous sizes.

An underground research facility shows 20ft tall humans kept inside cages.
Huge clones of Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden, Hitler and Pope John Paul the 2nd Roam around their tiny enclosure.

The action starts when Hitler manages to break from his cell and lets his fellow giant bastard captives free. Smashing their way free they leave a trail of destruction as they stomp across the middle east heading west towards Britain.

Cut to a research facility in a disused aircraft hanger in Doncaster we discover what happened to the missing DNA from 30 years prior.
Titanic versions of Patrick Swayze, Whitney Houston, Steve Irwin crocodile Hunter) and Lady Diana are seen lifting weights and doing military style training.

It turns out that the British government knew this day would come and have spent the last few decades training the gigantic Actors, Singers, Australian Naturalists and Shamed Princesses to defend the western world from the Fifty foot Bastards.

After crisis talks the Military decide that old habits die hard and Hitler is in fact heading to Poland.
Realising that all of the countries young men of fighting age are now residents of the UK leaving Poland defenceless, they begin to call in all of the countries Plumbers and Builders to join the Colossal Clones in a fight for all mankind.

Find out if Whitney really always did love you?

Are crocodiles as easy to wrestle as fifty foot fat Italian catholics?

How lovely will Lady Di's giant shoes really look?

Will Patrick Swayze Dirty Dance all over Bin Laden's face?

How far will Hitler Goose Step?

Who will win this colossal battle?

All these questions and more will be answered in this years must see summer Block buster

Attack of the Fifty Foot Tall Bastards.

Coming soon inside my head.


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Tue, 03rd Apr 2012
Come to think of it, the Croc Man seems to be telling us he's impressed too.
Nod+ (1)
Tue, 03rd Apr 2012
Can't help noticing in the picture that Princess Di looks fairly impressed with Adolf's eight foot member.
Nod+ (1)
Tue, 03rd Apr 2012
I've heard talk of a prequel to this.
Called: Defense Of The 50mm Sweethearts.
It's where all the nations sweethearts from the second world war, are kidnapped by the Germans and force fed radioactive mouse droppings, causing them to shrink to the size of field mice.
Much hilarity ensues, as they comandere a squad of ladybirds, in a bid to win the war for the boys on the frontline.
We'll meet again. Don't know where, don't...etc.
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Tue, 03rd Apr 2012
I had a huge smile on my face reading that and my wife thought that I looked demented
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Tue, 03rd Apr 2012
Can't wait. Laughing already.
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